


Bowl Of Oranges

by Exterminatorviolence



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Fluff, Lots of Angst, M/M, Michael is only mentioned a couple times, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 08:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2018328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exterminatorviolence/pseuds/Exterminatorviolence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray Narvaez Jr. is many things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bowl Of Oranges

**Author's Note:**

> This is very, very, very, very heavily influenced by my life. The only thing that's not based off of my experiences is the being safe and loved thing. 
> 
> Title from Bright Eyes song, 'Bowl of Oranges' from 'Lifted Or: The Story Is In The Soil, Keep, Your Ear To The Ground', which is a great album. Go listen to it. Now. Well, after you read this.

Ray Narvaez Jr. is many things.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. is charismatic.

His friends never hesitate to tell him either. He's a 'smooth talker' and a 'charmer' and his best friend, Michael Jones, didn't understand why he never had a girlfriend. Ray had tried to tell him that it was because he was 'unlovable' and that he 'didn't go outside' long enough to attract a girl's attention, much less her affection.

Michael would laugh and shake his head, amazed that Ray was modest and than he would say something like, "But seriously dude, you're fucking likable. People are just stupid man."

Maybe it wasn't that people were stupid, Ray always thought, maybe it was because people were smart.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. is funny.

He was never one to shy away from cracking a joke around some friends, especially if that joke was offensive in some way. Ray wasn't racist or sexist, or any other 'ist' there is, he was just witty and quick on his feet. He was always the first to say some stupid, dirty joke that people always laughed at and people always asked if Ray was always like this. Ray guesses they mean hyper.

And the answer is no, Ray's not always hyper, and he would tell people that. He would add that he saves his hyperness for the audience, he always was one for performance.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. is too good at video games.

With a gamerscore of over four hundred thousand, anyone with eyes would agree that Ray was good at video games. They were his life, and sometimes they made up for the fact that Ray had too little friends.

Michael would ask, "How are you so good at video games?"

Ray would laugh and answer, "Have you seen me? I'm a loser; I have no life. Of course I'd be good at video games." His mind would laugh bitterly in the background though, agreeing with the fact that Ray was in fact, a fucking loser.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. has social anxiety.

How? Yeah, Ray wasn't really sure how either. All he knew was that he would have anxiety attacks before going to work and then take three Xanax so he could function normally for the next eight hours.

Sometimes, the Xanax wore off and he would get scared in the middle of the day and Geoff or Michael would look at him weirdly when he would start to shake and pull at his hair subtly. Normally when this happened, Geoff or Michael would take him out of the room so he could calm down. And on those rare occasions, he broke down completely and one of them would have to take him home, making up some excuse of him being sick or throwing up.

The whole office thought he had a shit immune system. (Maybe he broke down more than 'sometimes')

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. is suicidal.

He's already tried twice; suicide that is. Tried swallowing too many pills both times and somehow managed to survive. He woke up in a hospital with a tube in his arm, and his parents, teary eyed and worried, standing over him.

He didn't know what to say.

"I'm so sorry...so selfish," He had whispered out when he managed to form words with his dry mouth that still held the after taste of that fucking whiskey he downed. God, he was pathetic.

His parents reassured him that there was nothing to be sorry about, and that they still loved him and nothing would ever change that. They begged him not to do it a third time.

Sometimes he still thinks about suicide. Not really about committing it, but just the thought of it. The feeling of complete helplessness right before swallowing the pills, or jumping off a building, or cutting to deep where no doctor could revive him.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. is severely depressed.

He doesn't like to say it out loud, but that doesn't stop it from being true. Ray's depressed and he stays up all night thinking about it and trying to figure out why he's so Goddamn depressed. It's not like he has a shitty life -he plays video games for a job- and it's not like he's not loved by his parents. So why the hell was he so fucking depressed?

Thinking about how good his life was compared to others made him feel worse. So he tried not to do it too often.

Ray would go around the office and see people smiling and laughing; would see people in love and it made him feel helpless. Like he was watching a bunch of people swim around life happily, and he was drowning and no one would help him.

He's past the point of really telling people about his depression, that's why he's been going to therapy once a week for the past five years. No one else needed to be bugged by his sadness.

He's lost more than one friend because of his depression, and when he was in high school, it felt like he was losing a friend each year. The only friend to stick by him was Michael, who's still his best friend, and the only one so far who has managed to survive the depression with him.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. is in love.

He wasn't sure how someone could manage to love him, but someone does. And that someone's name is Joel Heyman. Older, wiser, and definitely more attractive, Joel was what Ray always wanted to be. He never seemed too overwhelmed, and everyone seemed to like him.

Ray always thought it was funny how they met, with him crying in the bathroom after having a breakdown from an anxiety attack, and Joel just came walking in, oblivious to everything, and stopped dead when he saw the crying Puerto Rican.

Michael had initially yelled at him to leave, but Joel didn't move, and instead sat down next to Ray, not talking, just sitting with him. He's never had someone do that for him, and he cried harder knowing Joel fucking Heyman was sitting next to him watching him break apart.

He eventually calmed down, and leaned against Joel's side, the older man's arm wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him clsoer. Michael had left at this point, apparently trusting Joel to stick with Ray, and he had told Ray the story of his own depression.

Ray was in love within minutes.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. feels safe.

When it was late at night and he was laying in bed, not being able to sleep, and his inner demons would start to creep out, a strong arm would curl around his waist and pull him to another, bigger, warmer body.

Ray would sigh and snuggle closer, smiling slightly as his demons stalked back into the darkness where they wouldn't bother him until morning. At least they were gone for the time being.

"I love you, Joel." Ray would whisper into Joel's chest and he would be rewarded with a kiss on the head.

"I love you, too, Ray." Joel's voice would whisper back in his ear and Ray would finally settle down, his dark thoughts and insecurities fading away as Ray was reassured that he was loved.

\-----

Ray Narvaez Jr. is loved.

And really? That's all Ray Narvaez Jr. ever wanted.


End file.
